Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
