Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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