We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
