I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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