I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
