Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
