Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
