why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
In America we eat man semen.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize