i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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