dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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