if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
