If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
