You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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