PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We have so much sex to catch up on
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
do nipples grow back?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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