My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize