i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
