You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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