u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
