No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
