Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
