I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
