And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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