I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I could fuck to npr.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
