Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
