Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"