Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
