He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella