Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Where were you when I was single???

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Still in diapers.

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(858): View more from California

You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.

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(631): View more from New York

She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.

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