If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.