I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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