what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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