butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
