she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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