Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
