btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
