Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
