Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
