I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
