Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I need moral support for this bender
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
