I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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