im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude i'm inner monologue high
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I believe in your delicious
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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