You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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