Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
