Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
