so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So vagazzling was a success
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
