I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
