So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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