If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
