Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
