it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
