It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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