@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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