i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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