theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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