Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
