And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize