I wish my penis had an off switch
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
