I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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