420 ftw
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
