my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
