She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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