My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
