You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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