Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
