even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
