Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
