If i come over, it means nothing
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
